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A wave of DepressionDepression rushes over me,
Like a wave over stones.
A tidal wave.
My world turned upside down,
Unable to find the surface.
Every thing uprooted,
Anchors I planted to keep me safe.
Now far way
It forces me to crash,
Breaking down every thing I made.
Making me let go
Go on alone.
SmileWhy should I smile
It's not compulsory
Smiling is for the happy
What if I'm not happy
What if I'm sad
What if I can barely stand to be around you.
Smiling is for the happy
Im am not happy
I have no right to be happy
I did something you would hate
And hate myself for it
What's the point in smiling
If you do not mean it.
UnbreakableI would like to say I'm unbreakable,
But the truth is I'm not,
My body doesn't show it,
But in truth I'm just one big scar.
I pretend that nothing hurts me,
Not your words, not your actions.
But one by one they break me,
Just that centimetre more.
I would like to say I'm free,
But I'm not.
Just haunted by those memories,
I try so hard to repress.
But there is a little light,
Far at the end of the road.
Not too sure what yet,
I will tell you when I know.
Bullies and The Bullied (Jalex) Part 8“I am so sorry Jack...” He told me. I hugged him back. It felt so good to have him here.
“What are you doing here?” I asked amazed.
“You sounded like you need someone to talk to so here I am.” Alex told me giving me a faint smile. “And chocolate always makes me feel better when I am upset so here.” And he handed over a bar a milk chocolate.
“Thank you so much Alex! It is so kind of you. Really it is.” I told him taking the chocolate. I then went to the living room where my mum was still sitting on the sofa in a daze. I went over to her and gently said in her ear,
“Mum, I have some chocolate here. Alex, the boy from over the road, he brought it round. Would you like some?” She nodded slowly in reply so I broke off a few pieces of chocolate and gave it to her.
“Thank you Jack. John would always give me chocolate when I was upset. You are so much like him Jack. You really are.” She whispered in my ear. The
Bullies and The Bullied (Jalex) Part 7“Sorry? I didn't hear that.” Jack said after a while. I coughed to clear my throat.
“I am gay.” I repeated slightly louder and slower. What happened next I hadn't expected. Instead of leaving and never speaking to me again Jack leaned in and kissed me. It was very brief. Barley a second but it happened. I just stared at him. He smiled at me.
“Me too, Alex. Me too.” He replied.
“Really?” I asked in a daze.
“Really.” He confirmed.
Suddenly his phone went off. He answered it. It was a brief conversation and afterwards he said to me,
“I'm sorry but I have to leave. I'm... I'm glad we have had this chat. It was an eye opener. See you later.” And with that he was gone.
I was really uncertain of what had just happened. Were we friends? Were we more than friends. He had kissed me. Not like that means much though. But you wouldn't just kiss someone unless you feelings for them right? Not that it matters. It was probably Dan
Bullies and The Bullied (Jalex) Part 6Jack
I could quite happily have killed myself after what I did to Alex. Or someone else. It was needless violence. I felt so bad and there was nothing I could do to make him realise. That was until I saw him sitting alone in the car park, crying from what I could make out. I couldn't just leave him there. After what I had started I had to try and make it up to him. So that was basically how I ended up sitting next to Alex on his bed, hands almost touching. I had a sudden urge to hold his hand. I couldn't.
“Look, Alex, I know you said not to talk about it but I feel so bad. I need to be able to make it up to you somehow.” I said.
“How about next time you go for my torso not my face. I'm not a vain person but I do quite like my face the way it is.” He told me.
“Next time? I hope there isn't a next time. It is a nice face, more people should like it.” I couldn't help but add that last remark.
“If you want to stay in with Danny’s gang
Bullies and The Bullied (Jalex) Part 5Before I knew it they were walking off. It was all I could do to not cry. I knew every one would be looking. I grabbed my bag and book and stumbled out of the cafeteria. I managed to get myself to the car park before I collapsed on a bench clutching my stomach and crying. No one was ever round there so I was safe. That was much worse than any time they had done it before. Maybe having Jack start it made it so bad.
I sat on the bench not moving. I couldn't go back to school. There was no way I could face any of my lessons. I couldn't go home. Walking hurt too much and I didn't have a car. So sitting was the best idea I could come up with. I was still doubled over when I heard a car stop in front of me. I looked up and saw a battered hatch-back. I saw the shadow of someone lean over and roll down the window. It was Jack.
“Go away.” I mumbled not wanting to be on the same planet as him.
“No.” Came the reply. Stern but soothing.
“Please.” I begged lookin
Bullies and The Bullied (Jalex) Part 4Alex
For someone I didn't really want to get to know, I knew quite a lot about him. Jack has a dad in the army who recently split with his mum. He has moved schools a lot. He was beaten up a lot in the past. He wants to be safe from bullies. Twat. He should know better. No one is safe from bullies. I guess maybe those who are 'normal' and do their work but don't appear to be nerdy or what ever.
In a way I felt sorry for him. Moving school every year must really mess you up. No chance for any good friends. Not that being at the same school from word go gets you any friends. I don't seem to have any. I guess Rian. But I haven't seen him in ages. That's what happens when people move. Friendships fall apart.
Jack seems okay to my now. He wasn't rude to me which is always a bonus. I just don't get why, if he wants to be a douche, would he talk to me. It doesn't make sense. Mind you, he did say he didn't want to be like the others he just wanted to be safe. I could tell he hated himse
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